You can decide what type of year you’re going to have. They aren’t really any bad years, but good years with challenging moments.
The beginning of the new year has arrived, which means the masses have begun to declare what changes/resolutions they will be making in hopes of improving their lives.
Some folks are just excited for the ending to what they have proclaimed as the “worst year ever.” I’ve been seeing this meme floating around social media. I even posted it in my FB group a few weeks ago:
While this year hasn’t been a bad one for me, I am reflecting on the things in my life that could have played out a bit better.
I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions, but I do believe in goals. My perspective is that even though January 1st is a new beginning, so is every other day that we are blessed to open our eyes. Change is possible during any time of the year, but I can relate to the enthusiasm others have about New Year’s Day.
At the beginning of a new year, most of us look forward to a fresh start, a time to hit the marks we may have missed the year before. It’s an exciting time. However, there are no guarantees that things will be any better than they were on December 31st. And if you notice, by the time the last day of January rolls around, many people are ready to start the year over because the first month of the year didn’t turn out as well as they had hoped.
If you’ve been waiting for January 1st to recover from a period of disappointments and setbacks, you may be going about this the wrong way. The magic is not in the date.
Simply put, if you want to have a good year, it’s up to you to make it happen. I know how this sounds to people who have had loved ones pass away, dealt with car repossession, lost homes, jobs or even have received a scary medical diagnosis. I personally know about all of these things, and I can tell you that just as sure as these misfortunes can happen, they can change the entire trajectory of your life—if you allow them to.
Two years ago, my mother passed away. Two years before that, I said goodbye forever to my Dad. It’s been rough, and I haven’t gotten over the fact that I can never hug or kiss either of them again. That’s just not going to happen. I can’t erase the pain and hurt so instead, I’ve accepted the fact that those two events will always be a part of my journey.
2017 and 2018 were two of the most soul-crushing, years I’ve ever lived through. It was during those years that I found out who my allies were and who no longer needed to be a part of my life. I also realized that once I let go of the things I had no control over, and instead focused on the aspects of my life I could control, all the pieces began to fall into place.
In retrospect, those two years of painful challenges were filled with many teachable moments that helped me grow a great deal during this past year. I had no idea how 2019 was going to shape up for me, and like you, I don’t know what this coming year is going to bring. What I do know is that whether I’m ready or not, it is coming!
Get Out of the Same Old Rut
If you find that year after year, you keep wishing, hoping and praying for things to change but they don’t, it’s most likely high time that you do something different.
If you’re always depressed around holidays because of past trauma, you may need to explore visiting with a mental health professional.
Are you walking into a new year lacking funds to pay for basic needs or even that new designer bag you’ve been wanting? Change your financial situation. For instance, instead of continuing to criticize your friends for focusing on their direct sales business, perhaps you should try it.
If you were not happy with your body image January 1st and still not pleased twelve months later, perhaps it’s time to seek the help of a health coach.
Maybe you’ve spent all year complaining about your boss and co-workers. In this case, you may need to get a new job.
These are just some examples of circumstances that we can change. As for the things we have no control over, we have to accept what’s happened and move on. However, this doesn’t mean you must be emotionally numb to hurtful situations.
When something terrible turns your life upside down, it’s important to acknowledge your feelings. The thing is, there’s no timeline for getting over anything. In fact, some things you’ll never get over as long as you live. I’ve learned this.
It’s okay to throw fits and cry every now and then, but don’t let it become your life. Instead, let it be a chapter in your story.
As we approach this new year, realize that no matter what happened during the last twelve months, your year ahead will be exactly what you make it.
All the best always and Happy New Year.